Dear Mermaid O,
Today, on the eve (8/4/22) of the vote on SB1 in the Indiana General Assembly, I want to talk to you about one of the most critical decisions made by our government that could affect you as a woman. It certainly impacted my life in 1980.
On June 24, 2022, the United States Supreme Court overturned Roe vs. Wade and said that the 50-year law protecting a woman’s constitutional right to decide if she gets an abortion is no longer legal. The right to an abortion is a “state” issue and not a federal issue. And, if a woman needs to get an abortion, it’s up to a state to determine if it is allowed.
Right now, in the year 2022, I am in shock. Shocked because I never thought I would see our government decide they should be allowed to make a medical decision about my body. Had abortion been illegal 42 years ago, my life until now would have been dramatically different.
When I was 26 years old, I made a mistake that many women and men make when they are young. I had unprotected sex, a careless decision on my part, with a guy and got pregnant and had an abortion. It is what it is, and it happened.
At the time, having a baby was the farthest thing from my mind and the last thing I wanted in my life.
I’ve been successful in almost everything I’ve pursued throughout my life. I was a farm girl, active in school, church, and 4-H; I didn’t drink or smoke until I was 21, never got in trouble with my parents for breaking the rules, and didn’t date much in high school. In fact, I was still a virgin when I graduated from college. I worked two jobs while attending college at Purdue University to study agriculture. The hard work resulted in multiple job offers when I graduated.
I had started my career journey, and I was happy. I loved my job. I loved my apartment, friends, and my newly found independence. Everything in life was perfect. This was the life I wanted.
One day, I realized I was a week late with the dreaded monthly menstrual period. I began to fear that my one night of unexpected and unprotected “fun” might turn into a nightmare. So I went to the doctor, and sure enough… I was pregnant.
Oh my, I was so scared. You see… back in 1980, if you got pregnant and were not married, you were expected to get married upon finding out. It’s just what your family, your boss, society, and most girls did… get married, have the child, and move on with your life.
But I just couldn’t stop thinking… I just wasn’t ready to have a baby.
I never babysat in my life!
I didn’t want kids.
And most importantly, I didn’t want to get married to a guy I didn’t love.
I had a great boss I loved working for, but I knew he would have to fire me if I told him I was pregnant. Women were entirely dispensable at work, and companies could fire you for about anything without repercussions, especially if you got pregnant. I was one of the few women working for a large agricultural company, and the last thing any executives in that industry wanted was an unmarried pregnant woman working with farmers. Most companies in the agriculture industry had no maternity policy because it was just understood and expected that if a woman got pregnant, she quit work, got married, and raised the child.
I had a friend I trusted enough to tell and ask to help me think through my options.
Finally, I decided to have an abortion.
I wasn’t ready to be a mother.
I was so thankful abortions were legal then due to the Roe vs. Wade decision, and thus I didn’t have to go through the horror of a back-alley abortion.
After a few visits with a local doctor, a friend drove me to a clinic. It was a nice, clean clinic. The doctors and nurses were very caring. I had a vacuum aspiration abortion that is used in first-trimester pregnancy. The procedure took less than 15 minutes. I recovered for about an hour under the doctor’s observation and then was released to go home. Recovery at home was similar to a menstrual period, with cramping and light bleeding for a couple of days. I was relieved it was over and could return to work on Monday.
I had never told anyone this until eventually, I told your Papa, Mom, and Dad that I had an abortion.
Why am I telling this story now? Because I’m old, I can’t get fired from my job, and I don’t care if people disagree with my decision. It was never their decision to make.
I have never regretted my decision. It was the right decision, and most importantly, it was my decision, not the government’s decision.
I do regret that I didn’t tell my story sooner. I never thought this individual right would be taken away by the courts or politicians.
I promise that as long as I am alive, I will work to get this medical decision back under your control, not the government.
You may grow up and decide you don’t think women should get an abortion, and that’s ok as it is and will always be YOUR decision. But I will always be here to remind you that it is no one else’s business to decide what to do and how to treat your own body…, especially the government. That decision is only for you and your doctors.
I hope that by the time you read this, the country and the rest of the world have come to their senses and given women the right to decide what they do with their bodies.
Make Waves,
Grandma JAS